I’ve been receiving some really beautiful medicine on this topic, so I’m inspired to share, though I’m sure there will be more posts on this to come. A more “official” page on Cursing, Crossing, Jinxing, & Hexing in the Hoodoo Tradition will be posted to my website soon, but in the meantime…
Sex and money have a interesting relationship with each other. Both are related to personal power and pleasure like few other things are. Spiritually, both money and sex are very much tied to the Sacral Chakra in the Hindu tradition. This chakra (or “energy center of the body”), associated with the color orange and located about two finger widths beneath the navel, represents the first step on our journey to becoming individuals. Our idea of “having” and “not having” as it exists just above our basic (Root Chakra) needs is seated here, where the next step in our primal questionnaire is “what feels good?,” whether or not we’re having enough of that, and whether or not we have enough of that compared to other people.
This isn’t to say that if you’re jinxed in one category, you’re definitely jinxed in the other, but it’s an important concept to consider. What are your thoughts on the relationship between money and power? Between sex and power? In what ways do you feel empowered when you have either, or one without the other? Or when you’re having lots of both?
You might be doing tons of Attraction magick for sex and money, but is there flow? Are you seeing results? Or is there a kink in the hose?
It’s a prime time to discuss sex and love jinxes with Valentine’s Day right behind us and last month’s Full Moon in Leo, a sign concerned with personal sovereignty and power. How much are you expressing yourself? Are you in the spotlight of your own life? Or are you giving your power – and presence – away?
An upcoming blog post on unjinxing money is in the works, but for now…
Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby
Sex is an incredible phenomenon celebrated in nearly every culture the world over, going back to ancient times. In addition to its reproductive qualities, it can be a wonderfully pleasurable experience, and that’s not a sidenote either. Most sexual acts are performed for non-procreative reasons, the desire for shared affection itself being a basic human need. In many ancient cultures (and modern subcultures, too) sex is seen as an avenue for touching the face of the divine – the ecstasy achieved within the act can be a doorway to divine knowledge, revelation, and wisdom. Sex, in its highest expression between consenting adults, is sacred.
So why all the hang-ups? Well, for one thing, sex is so powerful that some have felt that it needs to be controlled. The oppression and subjugation of women and other minorities has often been linked to sex as well in many strange and uncanny ways with accusations of certain groups of people being “oversexed,” imagined to have nearly impossible seductive abilities, or imagined to have identities that are solely grounded in sexual preference instead of societal role and ways of being. These have been the shadow projections of a ruling class that, too, has been hurt by the guilt and shame around pleasure that has crept over the Western world over the past few millenia. Thankfully things are changing due to the courageous acts and the cultural resilience of many giants on whose shoulders we stand.
But the depth, beauty, and transformative possibilities of our sexual expression are equal to its vulnerability in the face of the societal wounds we carry, the way others treat us, and the way we treat ourselves.
Jinxes & Curses
In my practice, I differentiate between curses and jinxes based on a number of factors.
In short, curses are big, heavy obstacles thrown by others into our lives to stop us in our tracks, limit our ability to prosper in one or more of life’s arenas, and intentionally cause us to suffer – except when they come down the ancestral line as a generational block.
Jinxes, on the other hand, are a bit more elusive. A “little” curse performed without much effort can manifest as a jinx in one or more aspects of someone’s life – as kinks in the hose of flow, things just not going the way they should, or the way one would hope. But most often, jinxes are caused by what we do to ourselves, the beliefs we hold, and how we give our power away to others in day-to-day life. For instance, you may say you want a life-altering, self-empowered sex life, but is there a voice in the back of your head that tells you that you don’t deserve it, or that it’s bad? You’re jinxing yourself, and any magick or rootwork you perform is bumping up against the more deeply held belief system living within your subconscious.
Like curses, jinxes can be long-standing, and a good test to see if one is cursed or jinxed in one of life’s arenas is to do magickal work and look for its results. In case of sex jinxes, burn a glass-encased red vigil candle on a petition to attract more sex into your life (or to stoke a vibrant expressive sexuality within yourself) and see what the glass looks like at the end. If it burns clean, you’re good to go!
A friend of mine performed such a test quite recently and the candle burned sooty with cracks appearing in the glass uncannily. Wax poured out through the glass encasement onto his altar, and it looked like his efforts at attracting sex into his life were being nullified by a hole through which he was giving his power over to others. Specifically, it forced him to look at a prominent friendship in his life and the way he had been forking over his Sacral Chakra power for many years to a person who’d been invested in controlling him romantically.
Diagnosing Sex Jinxes
It could be that your magickal efforts to attract sex into your life look as horrendous as the example given above, but even without spellwork, how can one diagnose whether or not they’re sexually jinxed?
Lack of interest – Good sex is fun and one of the greatest pleasures available to us on earth. Most people want it – and want it a lot. There are some people who have an innate lack of interest in sex, but what if you’ve just been completely uninterested lately? Can you think back to a time when your sexuality was healthy, vibrant, and being expressed in positive ways? What has happened in your life since then? There maybe an event, or a life change, that you can pinpoint, but if not, that’s ok, too. Just be aware of whether or not you have ever considered sex to be an important part of your well-being, if that experience has changed for you, and what factors have come up for you in the meantime.
Bad experiences – Bad or negative sexual experiences in which we weren’t clear with our partner about what made us feel good, or in which we performed acts that ultimately made us feel uncomfortable, can leave a bad taste in our mouths regarding sex in general. The same could be said about settling for partners that we weren’t actually attracted to. Some experiences in life are really “you live and you learn” types, but it’s important to learn from them and get clear with ourselves about what really does excite us in a sex partner (or partners), what our sexual preferences and desires really are, and what sounds like the utmost pleasurable sexual experiences to us. Don’t let one, or more, less-than-thrilling sexual experiences be your entire story. Magickally, Clarity and Cut & Clear work (followed by work to attract what you DO want) can be tremendously helpful in this instance, and don’t be afraid to share your experience with people you trust to listen and hear you if you feel that’s where you need to begin.
Sexual abuse – If you have ever been sexually abused, this can have a seriously negative effect on your sex drive and sense of self-worth. If you’ve been a victim (or even think you’ve been a victim) of sexual abuse, it is vital and essential that you find someone that you know you can trust with whom you can talk about your experiences and receive healthy, loving advice for how to heal these wounds and move forward powerfully and confidently in your life. Though an in-person counselor, social worker, psychologist, or ethical and reputable spiritual leader might be best to turn to, if you don’t want to speak to someone in person, organizations like RAINN (Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network) offer powerful resources for help and healing, including local counseling centers and an anonymous hotline online and via phone (1-800-656-HOPE). You’re not alone, and there are people you can trust who are eager and willing to help.
Lack of sex – Maybe you want it, but you’re just not getting it, no matter how hard you try. Of course, there could be plenty of mundane reasons why this is the case (where you live, personal factors, etc.) but sexual unjinxing work can definitely help ensure that there are no energetic obstacles standing in the way of you getting what you wish for.
Lack of stamina, or Physiological concerns – Sexual “dysfunction” experienced physiologically can be due to a number of factors, so it’s important to check with your doctor if, despite living a healthy active lifestyle, you experience a lack of stamina, severe tension, or have other uncomfortable experiences regarding your reproductive organs. There are tried-and-true magickal methods for directly harming a person’s sexual abilities (especially if a spouse thinks that fidelity is at risk), so being the victim of a curse is not entirely out of the question. But physiological concerns can also be due to age, genetics, and psychological connections that are being made regarding sex and trauma, shame, oppression, or other factors that one might not even be consciously aware of. Sexual unjinxing rootwork might be able to help as one component on the journey toward increased sexual ability and confidence.
Of course, it could be that someone in your life has actively done magick against you (even general crossing / cursing work can have a depleting effect on our sex lives even when if they’re not aimed directly at our sexuality). It may be best to book a consultation with a reputable and ethical spiritual advisor to find out out if this is the case and, if so, how to thwart it, regain yourself, and protect your own interests.
But could it also be that you’ve been jinxing yourself?
How We Jinx Our Own Sex Lives
Fear – Fear can bind up our sex lives and our pleasure-seeking and finding abilities almost faster than anything else. Whether it’s fear of what others might think of us were we to live boldly powerful sexual lives, fear of rejection, fear of sex itself, or fear of our own desires, fear is False Evidence Appearing Real, and so often, we find parts of our lives crippled by deeply held illusions.
Shame – A cousin of fear, shame around sexuality is a cornerstone of patriarchal Western life. Body shame, shame about gender and sexuality, shame around HIV/AIDS and other STIs, and plain ole shame about getting your rocks off “cuz it feels good, dammit!” have us in a bind as a society. Even pornography gives us unrealistic expectations. Look in the mirror, love yourself, and go have great sex today. (And thankfully, there have never been more avenues for finding community and activist efforts that help defeat shame and replace it with honor than exist today through Facebook groups, Meetup.com groups, e-mail listserves, and a host of other outlets. Because if it’s between two or more consenting adults in their right mind, what’s the problem?)
Self-Compromise – You may have someone in your life who is deeply invested in controlling you in one way or another. You might be deeply invested in keeping them around, so you give in to their intrusions. Just be aware that you’re giving your power away, and once you get ready to take it back (because intrusion knows no boundaries), it won’t be a pretty sight. For a sense of security or a bit of acceptance, you’ve been selling your soul and have been a battery for someone who imagined that they couldn’t sustain themselves on their own power. Isn’t it time to cut the cord?
Fear of change – And there it is again – fear – but this is a general fear I come across in my line of work. The truth is that unjinxing and uncrossing work can *change your life*. But that’s not always comfortable, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned in this lifetime, it’s that people can be very comfortable in their discomfort.
Unjinxing Your Sex Life
In addition to a thorough examination of any self-limiting beliefs you may have, there are a host of techniques in the hoodoo tradition you can use to unjinx your sex life. You can perform uncrossing baths, rootwork, or settings of lights to renew yourself and cleanse off any sticky situations in which you might be in energetically. If another person is directly involved, or you find emotional attachments holding you back, Cut & Clear work might be the way to go. If you know your jinx is psychological, you can work with a white skull candle to help heal the rift between your desires and your subconscious mind.
Dolls, figural candles, and self-anointing with conjure oils can all be used to unjinx one’s loins and heart and get a healthy amount of self-love and libido flowing again. There are many tried-and-true methods, but innovation can be equally effective as well. A Spiritual Reading & Consultation can help you target the area that’s most in need of unjinxing or support as well as the most effective rootwork techniques for helping you arrive at your healthiest sexual potential.
In cat yronwode’s Hoodoo Herb and Root Magic (p. 63, and a must-have), the author includes this very traditional formula for unjinxing sexuality that’s helpful whether you’ve been intentionally jinxed by another, or have just fallen into a rut of your own accord:
“To Unjinx Sexual Nature: Boil CALAMUS root in a quart of Whiskey until the liquid is reduced to one pint. Strain out the roots and add a fresh pint of Whiskey. Drink a dose daily as a medicine to restore stolen or jinxed nature.”
If alcohol is off-limits to you, try this spell on for size. If you prefer to work with astrological correspondences, perform it on a waning moon on a Monday or Friday.
Spell to Unjinx Your Sexual Nature
- a vulva and/or penis-shaped figural candle (depending on the equipment you have)
- Uncrossing oil
- black thread
- sampson snake root
- 20-30 minutes of alone time
Take the genital-shaped candle and carve your name into the back of it. On the other side, carve the words “Sex Unjinxed!”. Dab a bit of the Uncrossing oil on your hand and, starting with the bottom, stroke the candle away from yourself. Visualize any and all blockages keeping you from the healthiest and fullest expression of your sexuality vanishing. See yourself in your highest sexual power, fulfilling your most empowering fantasies, and experiencing pleasure and confidence in your everyday life. Rest the candle on a fireproof plate or surface and rub any remaining oil left on your hands on the sides of your neck. Take your black thread and wind it around this candle from bottom to top, then top to bottom. Pray over the herbs and roots, asking them to awaken their ability to remove sexual jinxes and blockages, and sprinkle them around the base of the candle.
Lay down and massage yourself, starting with your scalp and working your way down to your feet. Touch every part of your body, bringing pleasure yourself. Reach for an unfulfilled sexual fantasy, and preferably one that isn’t attached to any one particular person, known or otherwise. See yourself in the throes of ecstasy, and know that this feeling is your birthright as a human being on planet Earth. When you reach climax, send this feeling of bliss out into the Universe, and spread a little bit of your holy sexual fluids on the top of the candle.
Light your candle and pray with conviction, saying “I remove all sexual jinxes, all bindings, all forms of shame and fear that have kept me from flourishing. Pleasure, awake in my life! Joy, awake in my life! Confidence, awake in my life! Honor, awake in my life! I am whole in my vibrant sexual expression!” Holding down the base of your candle with one hand, take your scissors and cut the thread, starting from the bottom of the candle and working your way to the top. With each snip, visualize power re-entering you, and let the broken threads fall by the side. When the candle is out, you can read the remains for signs (a form of ceromantic divination), and bury them in your front yard, or at the bottom of a potted plant you commit to water and nurture as needed.
As with all spellwork, forget that you ever did it, and leave it to the Universe to manifest itself. But do back up this spellwork with mundane efforts, whether that means going out and getting laid, or just making sure you bring pleasure to yourself more often to keep the flow going. Stay in touch with yourself, your needs, and your desires.
And as with all uncrossing and unjinxing work, you’ll definitely want to do some Road Opening or Attraction work to fill the void you’ve just created with the energy and intention of what you DO want. More on this in another post…
Keep Rising (hehehe),
P.S. – Have questions about hoodoo rootwork or shamanism that you want me to address in a blog post? E-mail me at email@example.com!